For those of you who know me, it will come as absolutely no surprise that I like to be organized. I consider myself a generally competent person who can get things done. And when other people tell me they see or appreciate my organization or competence, I believe them. By no means am I the most organized (see my often-messy desk) but I do okay by myself and others. 

But this morning, all that self-esteem went flying right out the window. As Hazel and I were talking about an upcoming trip that she and I are taking together to the east coast, I pulled up my calendar on my phone to show her how far away the trip was, when we were leaving, etc. It was then I realized I had booked our return tickets for the wrong day! I double checked it – and yes, to my great dismay, I had purchased tickets for one day later than I thought. 

I was parked on the street near the elementary school, waiting for my youngest. It was a nice day, so I had rolled the windows down which allowed me to overhear the conversation of the kids walking on the sidewalk. One kiddo walking by peered in the passenger side window, curious. His friend asked who was in the car, and his reply was “Oh, it’s just some mom.” 

Now, this is quite true: I am, in fact, a mom. It made me laugh at the time because, for a second grader, that is probably all he needs or cares to know. But it also made me pause. While I am a mother, that doesn’t really give a great picture of who I am. I am a lot of other things, too. 

It has recently struck me that many of us – if not all of us – are carrying more emotional burdens than we make plain to those around us. I think this has always been true, but in the last few weeks, and for whatever reason, the weight of some of these concerns has become more visible to me than it was. 

In worship on September 14, we handed out prayer cards for people to fill out and then bring to the front during the prayer time. Both Pastor Karl and I were surprised at how quickly people in worship got up with their prayers written on the cards. When I took the cards down the following Monday, I sorted through them to see which ones I should include on the prayer email, I was struck at how much heartache was poured out on those cards.

Just about 20 years ago, Greg and I moved back to California from North Carolina. We’d spent 6 years in that lovely state, but after finishing our degrees there (PhD for him from Duke and MSW for me from UNC), we decided that we wanted to be closer to family because we had a baby on the way. 

When we had mostly settled in, we came to church at St. Andrew’s because my dad was the appointed pastor at that time. This decision didn’t involve a lot of thought on my part because my dad had almost always been the pastor at the church I attended (with my 6 years at Duke Chapel being the exception). Of course, we would go to the church where my dad was serving. 

School has started in our area. My own children started school this past Monday and Tuesday with only a modicum of grumbling. With the beginning of school, the shape of our days has begun to transform from the slightly less structured timeline to one with more form as we add in school drop-offs and pick-ups as well as the smattering of extracurriculars they participate in. 

With the return to school, I have been thinking about math – subtraction in particular. It seems to me that many of us are very good at addition but less adept at subtraction.

I had the loveliest dinner with a friend last night. It always takes a little bit of time to align our two schedules as we are generally busy people with families and other responsibilities to attend to. But in a stroke of luck, we were able to get together and catch up. 

It was great to hear what’s happening in her life, to learn about her latest adventures in her job, marvel at the things her kids are up to, her plans, etc. And I got to share what is new and exciting in my life as well as what is old and boring. 

Someone was in my office not long ago lamenting that they weren’t sure where things in their life might go. She was looking for more assurances that her hopes and desires would be met but, as much as I wished I could offer that, I couldn’t do so honestly. Life has too many twists, turns, and surprises for all of us and I have no idea what that will be or where things will take her. 

She told me of her unexpected journey thus far and how looking back made it even more curious. A few years ago, she had no idea that her current career path was even a possibility and now here she was, half-way through the training it would require. She commented that she was learning to trust God’s guidance but found it tricky to do. 
 
I wondered whether the whole of this particular journey she found herself on would have been too much to take in at the beginning. Perhaps if the whole path had been illuminated, she would have shied away from even starting it. 

On the way to her art camp for the morning, Hazel asks if tomorrow is the Fourth of July. I tell her that since today is the third, tomorrow will be the fourth. She then asks me what is so special about it and why we have a holiday. (Don’t worry, she’s only just finished fourth grade and with it, California history; next year in fifth grade she’ll dive into US history.) 

We chatted about what it meant nearly 250 years ago for people to sign a document that said they were not interested in being a British colony any longer. We also talked about the word independence and what that meant. 

For me, this week has contained many events, people, and plenty of things to get done. It isn’t too surprising since it is the week before Vacation Bible School (VBS), but I found it to be busier than average.

In the middle of a VBS task (because that list is the longest right now), someone interrupted me. Once I’d helped them with the question they had for me, they asked another question which was, “It’s so much work; tell me – why do you keep doing it?” What a great question!